Fingers and Cake

Once upon a time, Kathleen was doing the washing up and got an owie. Not a life-threatening sort of owie, but a lots-of-blood-from-a-broken-glass-pitcher sort of owie. She wondered where the rest of her finger was. Two of Kathleen's friends, Jesse and Sarah, were home at the time. One of these people has EMT training, and one goes kaplop at the sight of a lots-of-blood-from-a-broken-glass-pitcher sort of owie.



Kathleen crept past the bathroom where Jesse was bathrooming and hollered up to Sarah in her calmest, most nonbleeding voice,




"Sarah. Come here please. I need you."




Sarah came down and inspected the wound. Sarah wondered where the rest of the finger was. She wrapped Kathleen's hand in wet paper towels in an adeptly trained way, called Jamie Who Has A Car, and began stuffing leftover pasta shells in Kathleen's mouth. Jesse came out of the bathroom and was told to go to his room. However, some quick thinking prompted Jesse to come back out with Kathleen's trousers, as she was in her jimjams. As Sarah threw some juice in Kathleen's mouth and Kathleen held her hand over the sink, Jesse (with practiced skill) pantsed Kathleen and repantsed her.




Sarah cleaned up the glass and told Jesse the piece of finger on the glass was food.




Jamie Who Has A Car came with his car on his wedding anniversary which he was spending feeding the missionaries but it's ok because they were saving the good pudding for later when they were alone and took Kathleen and Sarah to urgent care.




"Was this your first time doing the washing up?" asked the triage nurse. The triage nurse was Filipino and Kathleen had trouble deciding if he was a sarcastic man based on his Asian vocal cadences.




He gave Kathleen a Vietnam bandage and told her not to do the dishes for a long time.




Then, a very sweet and smoky nurse with lots of blue eyeliner under her eyes scolded Kathleen for taking all the skin off, as there was nothing left to stitch. Kathleen was secretly very relieved to not be getting stitches. The nurse gave Kathleen spare dressings which looked like condoms, told her they looked like condoms, and showed her how to apply them, using the word condom once more.




Jamie W.H.A. Car came back and picked up the girls and brought them home nicely. They found upon arrival that Jesse, feeling useless, was biking to the next village to buy supplies for chocolate cake. He came home and made a beautiful chocolate cake with ganache and raspberries and cream cheese/whipped cream frosting.















And Kathleen didn't have to do the dishes, because she's not very good at it.

*Jesse wants it noted that in life threatening situations like "flaming babies" he's very calm.